The ninth entry

Dear diary,

Every new years, we make countless resolutions and unfaltering plans to stick to them; We even promise ourselves that the coming year would be better than the rest. But let’s face it, how many of us have even gotten through the third day without breaking them? Walking down the memory lane, I realized that there were so many plans I had for myself, so many goals in each resolution, but I could never get myself to implement them.

This afternoon, as I sat on my bed, wondering what to do with all the free time in hand, I saw this post someone wrote; it was on how badly they were missing their childhood. Suddenly I find all the memories of my early days flooding in. I remember how I was, living in my own mystical world, with not a care in the world. I wonder how even the smallest of things managed to bring a smile to my face. A hug from mom, or a small toffee as token from granny, 5 stars for the best drawing – such simple things were more than enough to make my day. I also remember how fairies, mermaids and stories of princes and princesses from far far away land seemed so real. I miss those days real bad and I wish I could go back in time and relive all those moments. But now, when I think about it, maybe it wasn’t because of what I did or how things were, but maybe the way I used to look at everything around me is what made all of it so special. It’s like in all these years, the view hasn’t changed but the vision has been altered completely.

Life’s become hectic now. I feel like there’s so much going on around all the time that I don’t have time for myself anymore. It’s like that spark has gone missing. People say that magic tends to fade with growing years, but now when I think of it, maybe my life was so magical because I believed in magic- the magic that was within me.  And yes I have a tight schedule and I will have to keep going this way, but this isn’t how I want to remember myself 50 years from now, looking back at life and wondering what went wrong. For me, new years’ resolutions have always been about being better at something, but this time, I just want to be ME; spend time with me, and try to find the magic that went missing in all these years. I am sure the coming year is definitely going to be better than the rest!

Excited,

Anushka

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